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Showing posts from July, 2020

REALLY. Hard. stuff.

I'm sitting by Reagan's crib, holding her hand as she falls asleep. It's nearly 10:00 pm, but she had a late nap. And she climbs out of her crib, so I'm opting for this solution tonight.  I hate pigs. I already did, but I do even more after tonight.  The county fair starts this weekend, and they needed to have a vet bill of health before they could enter the fairgrounds. (Christopher and Derek are raising 4-H hogs). So, they needed loaded into a trailer to go visit the vet for a few minutes.  I went out to take pictures. They'd already been trying for a while, and I'd fed the little kids and hid inside as long as I dared.  I didn't get a single picture and ended up jumping in to help.  These pigs are big. And stinky. And gross. AND dumb.  It took FOREVER to get them in- plus help from friends who already had their pigs in a trailer. (I kid you not, after two hours of squealing, fighting and snarling George literally walked up the ramp, into thei...

Maintaining intimacy in marriage (after kids)

This is the big presentation I've been working on for my intimate relationships course. It focuses on emotional intimacy, and I share a lot of cool research and advice. Watch the vide if you'd like! Also, I typed up my Top Five tips separately, so here you go! 1.      1.  Communicate! Take a course on communication if you want. Read a book if you want- but it will make a great deal of difference if you know how to successfully communicate with your spouse. Talk about everything! Small topics such as new trends, social media, homework, housework, chores, and the news. Big topics such as finances, feelings, plans and hopes. Talk about your day at work, his day at work and the kids’ days at work. Don’t wait until you have alone time to talk- kids need to see you talking too! Talk at dinner, talk through text or email, talk at bedtime. This is an important one if the physical side of your intimacy is suffering as well- talk about your desires, fears and worries when i...

Expectations vs. reality: Let it go

You know how sometimes you have a perfect vision of how something is going to work out? And then it doesn't end up looking exactly what you pictured? If you have kids, you know what I'm talking about.  Dieter Uchtdorf referenced this in a talk  in 2018- he said, "There is a word in German, Weltschmerz. Loosely defined, it means a sadness that comes from brooding about how the world is inferior to how we think it ought to be."  Ever since I heard it, I've been obsessed with this concept- and how to stop it in my own life!  Before I go on, let me clarify- I am all for holding high expectations for yourself, your kids, your family and your life! I believe that the more we expect, the more we (and our kids) can rise to the occasion. When I talk about "expectations" here, I am referring more to our picture of what we thought things might be. You know- that picture of perfect children with clean matching clothes, perfect hair and a clean house- before you had ...