Happy Homes do exist!

 School started this week. Five of my kids, and my husband went back to school. Regular, catch the bus, all day long, all week long school. Yes, they have to wear masks, and yes there are some changes. But for me, the mom who stays home with the little kids, it's back to life as we knew it before.  Before the pandemic cancelled everything. Remember that? I was blogging a lot during those days- mostly to clear my own mind. Now looking back (and I knew this might happen) I'm a little sad it's over. It's kind of exciting to live out a big moment in history. It was kind of fun to have everybody home with no option of anywhere to be or anything to do.  If you know me, you know that's kind of my jam anyway.  But I'll be honest with you- I've been waiting for this day. It's overwhelming to have nine people all together for a long period of time. We had a lot of fun, and a mostly normal summer. In fact, I can't really think of much that the pandemic impacted...

I'm sitting by Reagan's crib, holding her hand as she falls asleep. It's nearly 10:00 pm, but she had a late nap. And she climbs out of her crib, so I'm opting for this solution tonight.  I hate pigs. I already did, but I do even more after tonight.  The county fair starts this weekend, and they needed to have a vet bill of health before they could enter the fairgrounds. (Christopher and Derek are raising 4-H hogs). So, they needed loaded into a trailer to go visit the vet for a few minutes.  I went out to take pictures. They'd already been trying for a while, and I'd fed the little kids and hid inside as long as I dared.  I didn't get a single picture and ended up jumping in to help.  These pigs are big. And stinky. And gross. AND dumb.  It took FOREVER to get them in- plus help from friends who already had their pigs in a trailer. (I kid you not, after two hours of squealing, fighting and snarling George literally walked up the ramp, into thei...

This is the big presentation I've been working on for my intimate relationships course. It focuses on emotional intimacy, and I share a lot of cool research and advice. Watch the vide if you'd like! Also, I typed up my Top Five tips separately, so here you go! 1.      1.  Communicate! Take a course on communication if you want. Read a book if you want- but it will make a great deal of difference if you know how to successfully communicate with your spouse. Talk about everything! Small topics such as new trends, social media, homework, housework, chores, and the news. Big topics such as finances, feelings, plans and hopes. Talk about your day at work, his day at work and the kids’ days at work. Don’t wait until you have alone time to talk- kids need to see you talking too! Talk at dinner, talk through text or email, talk at bedtime. This is an important one if the physical side of your intimacy is suffering as well- talk about your desires, fears and worries when i...

You know how sometimes you have a perfect vision of how something is going to work out? And then it doesn't end up looking exactly what you pictured? If you have kids, you know what I'm talking about.  Dieter Uchtdorf referenced this in a talk  in 2018- he said, "There is a word in German, Weltschmerz. Loosely defined, it means a sadness that comes from brooding about how the world is inferior to how we think it ought to be."  Ever since I heard it, I've been obsessed with this concept- and how to stop it in my own life!  Before I go on, let me clarify- I am all for holding high expectations for yourself, your kids, your family and your life! I believe that the more we expect, the more we (and our kids) can rise to the occasion. When I talk about "expectations" here, I am referring more to our picture of what we thought things might be. You know- that picture of perfect children with clean matching clothes, perfect hair and a clean house- before you had ...

Today is Father's Day. I enjoyed seeing so many posts and stories on Instagram dedicated to the great dads in this world.  It made me wonder why we don't do this more often!  I know I hit the jackpot with Brant. He's patient, understanding, and so very helpful. There is no way on earth that I could be the Mom I am without him by my side. And I do love to brag about him! And I know there are so many many great men out there who love their wives deeply. Men who change diapers, and swish underpants, and wipe snotty faces. Men who play basketball with their kids, men who take their daughters dancing or skiing. Men who call their mom every Sunday night to check in on how she's doing. Men who are dedicated to their faith, who pray and worship and teach. Men who spends countless hours shoveling snow for widows; teach their teenagers how to drive; talk and listen when their kids need them the most. Men who hold their temper, even when life isn't fair and they are treated po...

I've gotten really busy with my coursework this summer- it's an 8-week summer session, and my 3-credit course seems to have A LOT of reading expectations (and really long lectures). I'm enjoying the subject matter (intimate relationships) especially as I find research that supports my belief in the sanctity and importance of marriage.  My big presentation that I will create is on the topic of "Building and Maintaining marital intimacy after kids join the equation." So far I've looked through my google photos to find pictures of Brant and I- together without kids, together while I was pregnant, together with one baby, together with a million kids (aka right now). I figured that was easier than trying to find photos on the internet that were accessible to use in my slide presentation. This is the picture (above)  I'm using for the cover of the presentation: a real life, candid shot of how things really are when you have a new baby.  And this is one of my fav...

One of my favorite family priorities is to have dinner together. I was writing a chapter in my book about it, and then my laptop died. So I decided to write about it here. I've done a little digging into current research and the value of family dinner- and it's amazing! Teenagers who reported eating dinner with their family 3-5 times a week are A LOT less likely to experiment with drugs, alcohol, or sex.  There's a lot more neat research. But- for my family, the greatest benefit is the routine closure. We can have a crazy, fun, amazing day out playing on the lake... Or we can have a stressful, tiring, work-filled day at home together- but family dinner is our normal. We come together, eat food (sometimes good, sometimes iffy), and talk about our day.  We like to do what we call a "question of the day." Somebody new chooses the question each day, and it can be anything from, "What's your favorite dessert?" to "What would you do if thi...