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Maintaining marital intimacy after kids join

I've gotten really busy with my coursework this summer- it's an 8-week summer session, and my 3-credit course seems to have A LOT of reading expectations (and really long lectures). I'm enjoying the subject matter (intimate relationships) especially as I find research that supports my belief in the sanctity and importance of marriage. 

My big presentation that I will create is on the topic of "Building and Maintaining marital intimacy after kids join the equation." So far I've looked through my google photos to find pictures of Brant and I- together without kids, together while I was pregnant, together with one baby, together with a million kids (aka right now). I figured that was easier than trying to find photos on the internet that were accessible to use in my slide presentation.


This is the picture (above)  I'm using for the cover of the presentation: a real life, candid shot of how things really are when you have a new baby. 

And this is one of my favorites. I think we should re-make this one with all seven kids now!


I feel like this topic is important because so many people tend to fall apart when they have kids and start focusing on the kids, and busy life. I have LOVED growing with Brant, together, as parents. 

I read something in my textbook the other day that explains exactly what I've tried to write on here recently: after the initial growing and expanding of one's self (the book was talking about during the first bit of being in love), then there is a lull and that's when boredom sets in. It perfectly explained why I love having kids so much- they present a big change, a big chance to expand who we are as individuals- but together! Those growing opportunities have become a way for us to become closer over the years. 

I also learned about family triangles- which is when there are two people within a family who are close and thriving within the triangle- but when a third comes along usually one person gets left out. Many times that's the Dad who ends up being pushed out, because of the close bond and all the time Mom has to spend with the new baby. 

It's definitely interesting to consider. 

We'll see if I can find the research the back up what I'm thinking. Sometimes I get big ideas in my head, but for a school project that should be based on actual research?? It's hard to pull it together. 




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  1. Mellissa June 20, 2020 at 4:36 PM

    I am sure you will do great on your project! You should post it on your blog when you are done.

    ReplyDelete
  2. NaDellJune 20, 2020 at 11:32 PM

    I think the triangle relationship happens much more than most people talk about. Give your husband time with your child and make sure he still gets time with you! You have to water a plant to it to flourish. You can't just assume it will continue blooming if you never water/fertilize/nourish it. The same is true for relationships (of every kind).
    I love your pictures!

    ReplyDelete

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