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I forgot

Somehow I forgot I made this blog... can you believe it? I guess I got busy with my schooling, and life. I stopped posting on my extra instagram account that kind of went with this blog, because it's too hard to keep up appearances and stay involved in social media when one of my main goals is to not be on my phone or social media as much. Ha! 



But, I thought I'd written some stuff throughout the pandemic, and when I went looking for that stuff on my other blog I couldn't find it. Enter this blog! So weird that I forgot about it. I guess it was my therapy during Covid! haha. Fall of 2020 I started going "full time" with my master's program, which was 6 credits instead of the usual 3 I'd been doing. It was much more busy, but so good. 

And I'm done! I graduated in July! I have a Master's degree in Child and Family Studies! So cool. And yet... here I am. Being mom. I'm not complaining- I mean this IS what I want to do. But, somehow I guess I didn't really know what to expect when I graduated. Sure it's nice to not spend money on tuition! (In fact, looking back on how much I DID spend on tuition, I'm amazed we were able to make that work! and I kind of wish I had all that money right now for a new vehicle...) I loved the intellectual challenge that it gave me. I loved the focus it brought to my day. I loved the research and information I learned. 

I applied for some jobs at BYU-Idaho, online adjunct professor jobs in child development, marriage, parenting... those were the jobs I saw 5 years ago when I wanted to do this degree. Those were the vision of why I did it. I wanted to be able to work part time, from home, teaching and making a little money. Well. I didn't get them. At least not yet. Most of them I got an email saying I wasn't hired. And why should I be? I don't have any experience! But, I was a little bummed. I don't know if it's something I can apply for again later... or if that was my one chance? I don't know. But, I do trust that the Lord knows. 

He knows what I'm supposed to be doing right now, and later. He knew that the program would be so good for me, whether it lead to a job or not. He knew that I would learn great skills for my own family and life. He knew that I would get a glimpse of the various opportunities out there. And maybe one day I'll do one. 

But, maybe right now, I'm okay to just be Mom. It's something I've written over and over. Really, you can go back to my various blogs and journals and Instagram posts- I am okay to just be Mom. It's what I want. And yet, it's something that is hard. It feels kind of mundane sometimes. It feels like maybe I'm wasting my knowledge and skills that I just spent so much time, energy and money acquiring. But, I really and truly do love being Mom. I feel so strongly about it, in fact, that I am certain I was predestined to do it. Ironically, if you're a mom, so were you! 

It's the first commandment that God gave to Adam and Eve, when they were in the Garden of Eden. To multiply and replenish the earth- to have children. It's basically the foundation for the entire plan of happiness. We existed before, we chose to come to Earth, and in order to get our bodies, we had to be born. Families are so important. Parents are so important. The MOST important. 

I think I'm mumbling. I'm feeling lazy and don't feel like looking up the scriptures I'm thinking about. Oh well. I hope you get the idea. Thanks for reading. Thanks for being here. 

Comments

  1. Missed talking to you last night. Just saw this post. Thanks for remembering why you love being a Mom. That you might have JOY!

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